At first, the idea was simple. Write, publish, repeat. One text a day, nothing ambitious, just some regularity. It was more of a reflex than a plan. I used the date as a title because it was the fastest way. And maybe also to avoid having to name what I was writing. I didn’t think it would end up boxing me in.
I thought the texts would vanish. That they would fill the day’s page and then disappear. But they didn’t. They pile up. They come back. They look at me. Some fade quietly, others demand attention. I don’t know exactly why I go back to them. Maybe because the site doesn’t forget them. Maybe because I’m slower than I thought.
What’s certain is that I started revisiting them. Not all of them, but quite a few. Some change very little. Others are thoroughly reworked. But all pass through a moment of doubt. I read them again with a mix of unease and curiosity. It’s like hearing your own voice in an old recording. There are surprises.
I eventually realized that the site, as I had built it, wasn’t a journal. Not a blog, not a book. More like a warehouse. A hangar with shelves. Or a disused train station. You can walk around freely, but some wagons haven’t moved in months. And yet, sometimes, there’s a slight vibration. A text stirs again.
It would be simpler if the titles weren’t dates. Then you could repost them without thinking. But no. The title itself reminds you that the text is from somewhere else. That it already happened. And even if I change it, rephrase it, tighten it up, it still carries its original mark. Like a manufacture date on packaging. You can try to rub it off, but it stays visible.
I also wondered if I was plagiarizing myself. It’s a strange idea, stealing from your own work. But that’s what happens when you import 1500 texts from an old site and want to rework them without starting over. It’s not cheating, not exactly. More like a form of stubbornness. Or organized laziness.
There’s also the question of social media. Should I add a “Share on Mastodon” button ? Manually copy each link ? Write a small summary for X, Seenthis, elsewhere ? The thought crosses my mind regularly. Then I let it go. Social media is too fast. My site is slow. It’s almost a principle.
Just today, I nearly inserted an automatic link at the end of the article. It would have let anyone share the text in one click. I tested it. The link appeared, but the image didn’t load. Neither did the text. It discouraged me. I removed it immediately.
All of this brought me back to something more tangible : this morning, we took the headboard and footboard of the old bed down into the courtyard. Two bulky wooden pieces that had been left in the guest room since we bought the new bed, months ago. L. and A. came for the weekend. I used the occasion to ask for help. At first, the plan was to saw them up. Furniture turned useless, that we hadn’t dared throw out. Then, while moving them, I started thinking of something else. Shelves, maybe. I’m a poor handyman, but very slow to discard. I have a complicated relationship with things. Like with texts. I need to look at them again before letting them go. Even if they’re obsolete. Even if they no longer serve. Maybe I grant them a kind of presence. Or maybe just an inertia that resembles mine.
